time to face the music

It's time to face the music... maybe you remember in February I was told there was a 50/50 chance I have cancer growing on my thyroid. Quick recap....at 12 weeks pregnant my OB discovered my thyroid was swollen. An ultrasound discovered that two rather large and two very small nodules were growing on my thyroid. Biopsies. 4 different types of cells were found, not normal results. I see a thyroid specialist and he tells me the results and size of the one nodules is very concerning, it is covering a large part of the right side of my thyroid and the glands that surround it. Because of these factors the chances of me having cancer are about 50/50, the glass is half full, right?! The right side of my thyroid needs to be removed, but my pregnancy complicates matters. Matt and I decided to wait until our sweet baby would be born in August to move ahead.

I will be six weeks postpartum Monday and it's time to face the music. I met with the thyroid specialist almost two weeks ago for another ultrasound and pre op for my surgery.The largest nodule has continued to grow and now the right side and center (it is butterfly shaped) of my thyroid will both be need to be removed, not what I was hoping to hear. My blood work results over the past six months look promising so there lies my hope. My surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday September 25. I am pretty sure I heard about half of what the Dr said when he was going over side effects / possible side effects from the surgery itself, not to mention future medications. He did say the pitch to my voice might change, to which I replied "Good thing I can't sing, it can only help my cause" I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did, oops. To be honest I was very surprised the surgery would be so soon I was thinking it would be October or November, so while I am glad the wait is shorter then I expected I am not convinced that is so great. I've never thought of myself as a vain person, sure I like to have a nice coat of mascara on before I leave the house but what girl doesn't right?! The thought of a two inch scar across my neck is frightening, but not so much as the side effects of not having a functioning thyroid the rest of my life, of course there is medication to control my metabolism, but its not the same. I can not even bring myself to think of the consequences if the nodules turn out to be cancerous, it is just too much, for Pete's sake I still have those crazy pregnancy/baby hormones running through me.

If it seems I have not been myself lately this is why, my mind weighs heavily. When we have an update we will be sure to share. I am thankful for the peace prayer offers me and am so thankful for my wonderful husband who sees me through. I have had many kind offers of help for which I am very thankful, your friendship and concern moves me, thank you.

See you later....

I am horrible at goodbyes, infact I usually say see you later to avoid that lump that builds in my throat. As a child I was notorious for crying when we left Grandma and Grandpas and Aunt and Uncles because it just overwhelmed me, I've gotten over that, well almost...

We have had the blessing of making a wonderful friend, a family friend, a family of friends-one for each of us- the kind of friend you hope never moves away.... but then of course those are the kind that have to. We said see you later to our good friends the Malufaus almost a month ago when they moved to St. George Utah for a new job, a better job. We miss them, but are so happy for them and their new adventures and the many blessings that are sure to come their way. Almost daily Lilia asks when she is going to see her friend Scout again or if she can come over and do a craft or maybe just meet at the park. Lilia plays "moving to Utah" now and packs up her stuff to go see her friend. It's been hard. But we are looking forward to our next visit with our friends whenever it may be. Lesson learned: good friends are treasures.